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Baseball Status Update Season Begins, Bores

opening day tweets 2011 status update

Yesterday was opening day for Major League Baseball and regardless of how little you care about it, I'm sure you were aware of it.  It's pretty much impossible for me to sufficiently prepare myself for baseball season and the relentless volley of inane tweets and status updates.  By the time they subside, the weather will have turned and the other seasonal depression will have set in.

How long is baseball season these days anyway, like 14 months?  I think it's a 14-month season, because I have to read 14 months worth of identical Facebook updates and tweets.  From now until the World Series they will all say pretty much the same thing everyone posted yesterday: go my team, fie on other team?

I read it yesterday, you can move on now.

I'm not talking about the kind of thing where people have an actual comment on the substance of the game, the players, or anything that doesn't just piss away 5 brain cells just by reading it.  My guess is that every year more text is written updating Facebook to write "Go Sox!" than was written in the entire 9th century.

Sometimes I wonder if it's some sort of trolling for sports fans, but the resulting comments are always exactly the same and always tame.

"Well, that's like just your opinion, man.  We'll see who makes it to the post season."

I just lost twice as many brain cells.

I know as a prolific poster of status updates that some may tire of my repeated posting on a given topic.  However, I can't find anything analogous to the baseball updates.

"Go WikiLeaks Diplomatic Cables!"

"I hope nuclear power gets the shit beat out of it tonight."

"Bring it conservative social policies, government safety nets are gonna wipe the floor with you."

I don't think so.

So please, if you've been waiting all year for the boys of summer to come back, following the trades and the Spring Training reports, then please write something other than Go Giants.  I don't want to defriend you.  I don't want to suppress your updates in my feed, because you are probably interesting in the off season.  I beg you to do this.

Otherwise it's going to be a long 14 months.

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